Saturday, 15 January 2005
Toma Sota Balcu to you too, children.
Go to Google and tap in "Toma Sota Balcu". Go on, I'll wait right here.
Good. Now, as you've seen, this appears on thousands of sites, almost all of them weblogs. It hadn't shown it's ugly face on Blogspirit until Bec pointed out some twonk who'd converted it from a blogger's fad into a chain letter.
Well, the point is, what a load of twaddle! As the story goes, some homicidal murderer (yes, he was a homicidal murderer, unlike all those vicious pacifist murdering saints. I bet the girl he killed was a female one, too.) killed some little girl, who chanted "Toma Sota Balcu" as she snuffed it (as young girls are prone to doing).
By some strange leap of logic, this means we'll all die too, unless we all post this feckless pap on our own blogs. (Usually, advertising coorporations pay thousands of pounds to get their message spread. Silly of them not to think of threatening death from beyond the grave, wasn't it?) Quite how she's going to scour the blogosphere to see just who's posted her story and who hasn't, the story fails to mention. Perhaps she employs Google. (Look forward to http://ghosts.google.co.uk, service begins next June.)
Also, the method of death is quite interesting. Well, you've all read the words "Toma Sota Balcu", so I might as well let you know what you're in for - apparently, you're going to awake suddenly in the middle of the night but be unable to move, and this bloodthirsty bint is going to appear on your ceiling and suffocate you (because, of course, the easiest way for a young girl to wrap her arms around your throat is from eight feet above you). What she does to tramps and tent dwellers is beyond me, hangs from the nearest available tree/lamp-post, maybe?
If any of you do believe in ghosts, magic, demons, aliens or anything of that nature, I've probably put the wind up you proper now, but don't worry - pacman and the tooth fairy will save you.
... Hang on, who does you in? The girl, isn't it? Yeah - but she's the victim! How the bloody hell can she complain about being on the recieving end of a bit of homicide if she herself proceeds to wreak death and destruction on the innocent webloggers who read the phrase "Toma Sota Balcu"? Most unfair, this murder business. Murderers first and the rest nowhere, is how it seems to me. Something should be done.
Finally, the question remains, what am I going to do? Well, the answer is simple -
I'll wait until she appears directly above me, then look up her skirt.